Back to school: Good Stress VS. Chronic Stress and How to Cope

Back-to-school season can be exciting. Seeing friends again, meeting new teachers, and getting back to sports, clubs, and activities can make the start of the school year feel fresh and fun.

But let's be honest: school can also be stressful.

Maybe you're worried about grades, homework, social drama, fitting in, or a class that already feels impossible. Maybe you're feeling pressure from teachers, parents, social media, or even yourself to do your best all the time.

If that's you, you're not alone.

Not All Stress Is Bad

Believe it or not, some stress is actually helpful.

Good stress helps us stay focused and motivated. It reminds us to prepare for a test, practice for a game, or meet a deadline. Once the challenge is over, we can recover and move forward.

Chronic stress is different. It sticks around for weeks or months and can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and unable to relax. Instead of motivating us, it can make everyday tasks feel harder.

Good Stress vs. Chronic Stress

Signs of Chronic Stress in Teens

You may be experiencing chronic stress if you notice:

• Trouble focusing or remembering things
• Constant fatigue
• Headaches, stomach aches, or muscle tension
• Feeling irritable, overwhelmed, or sad
• Pulling away from friends or activities
• Changes in sleep or eating habits

If you’re feeling signs of chronic stress, here are some DBT strategies to help you manage it:

One of the main ideas in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is that your feelings can be completely valid, and you can still choose how you respond. In other words: It makes sense that you're stressed. And your next choice still matters.

For example, if you have a test tomorrow, you might:

• Take a 15-minute break and then start studying.
• Make sure you eat dinner and get to bed on time.
• Review notes you have already studied.
• Go for a short walk before bed. 

Or you might:

• Pull an all-nighter.
• Avoid studying altogether.
• Spend the evening distracted while telling yourself you're studying.

Ask yourself: Which choices are likely to make the situation worse? Your goal here is to allow your feelings without doing something to make the situation worse.  

Try the DBT skill called ABC:

Add Positive Experiences: Do at least one enjoyable thing every day.

• Go for a walk with a friend
• Listen to music
• Spend time on a hobby
• Take a picture of something that makes you smile

Build Mastery: Practice things that help you feel capable and confident.

• Learn a new sport or instrument
• Join a club
• Let yourself be a beginner
• Celebrate small wins

Cope Ahead: Come up with a plan for future emotional events.

Look ahead at your school calendar. Do you have a busy week coming up? A big test? A tournament? Planning ahead now can reduce stress later. 

You can also try the STOP skill – a great skill to have to calm down in the moment.  

A Friendly Reminder for Parents

If you're reading this as a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is validate your teen's feelings. Validation doesn't mean agreeing with everything they do. It means helping them feel understood.

Try statements like:

• "I can see you're really overwhelmed right now."
• "It makes sense that you're frustrated."
• "Help me understand what's making this so difficult."

When teens feel heard instead of judged, they're often more willing to accept support and work through challenges.

You Don't Have to Do It Perfectly

Stress is a normal part of life, especially during the school year. The goal isn't to get rid of stress completely. The goal is to notice when stress is becoming too much and respond in ways that help instead of hurt.

One mindful choice, one deep breath, and one small step at a time can make a bigger difference than you think. 

When To Connect with Front Door

If anxiety or stress starts to feel overwhelming, support is here for you in Waterloo Region at Front Door to Child & Youth Mental Health (a Service of Starling Community Services). Connect with our team at 519-749-2932, email frontdoor@starlingcs.ca or visit our website at www.frontdoormentalhealth.com for more information.   

This blog was written in consultation with our Mental Health Clinicians