Understanding Safety Behaviours in Social Anxiety

As a parent or caregiver, you know your child best. You may notice moments when they seem uncomfortable in social situations. Maybe they speak quietly, avoid eye contact, or stand off to the side. These subtle actions can be easy to overlook, but they may be signs of social anxiety.

When children and youth feel anxious in a social environment, they often try to protect themselves from discomfort. One way to do this is through safety behaviours.  

What Are Safety Behaviours?

Safety behaviours are actions children and youth use to avoid or reduce anxiety in social situations. It’s how they respond to their anxiety and it is a form of avoidance – one of the most common responses to anxiety.  

For example, a youth who feels nervous at a birthday party might pretend to be busy on their phone or stand far away from others. These behaviours offer short-term relief, but they reinforce their fear and make future situations more challenging – making anxiety harder to manage.

Here are some common safety behaviours to look out for: 

• Speaking very softly or very little
• Avoiding eye contact
• Standing apart from others
• Constantly checking appearance or obsessing over it before socializing
• Rehearsing what to say excessively
• Using distractions like phones or TV to appear busy
• Leaving social events early or making excuses to leave
• Seeking constant reassurance or approval
• Use of drugs or alcohol  

Safety behaviours may provide relief of anxiety in the moment, but they can have lasting effects. Kids and youth might struggle to make friends, feel misunderstood, miss out on opportunities to grow and increase their anxiety over time.  

But recognizing safety behaviours is an important first step. It helps you understand what your child might be feeling and opens the door to support. 

In Waterloo Region, Front Door to Children and Youth Mental Health is a friendly starting point for families seeking help. They support children and youth up to age 18 with emotional, behavioural, and mental health challenges. Call Front Door at 519-749-2932 to book an appointment.